07 Dec 2006

Lindsay Lohan flashes

Hey, sometimes she does wear underwear, see?

I don't know what's with this sudden deluge of female celebrities that are having their private parts captured on camera by the paparazzi. Either the photographers are getting a hell of a lot better, or underwear stocks the world over are running out.

It is a strange one, and celebrity blogs all over the internet seem to have had enough material to last them until 2012 with all the flashes of bare crotches that have been snapped recently by the largely odious collection of reprobates that hang around outside clubs, waiting for the inevitable Lindsay Lohan pussy flash and giving the likes of Paparazzi Filth plenty more material.

What I don't get is the NEGATIVE reaction such flashes seem to get. I mean, Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan are widely regarded as hotties, aren't they? Sure, they've had their ups and downs, but in general they're attractive girls and I certainly would never reject the chance to play Strip Monopoly with them.

In case you're wondering, by the way, the rules of Strip Monopoly would involve, unsurprisingly, the girls having to take off an item of clothing instead of paying me rent. Which, admittedly, would mean a very short game when you consider how little they generally wear, but this works in two ways. Firstly, I get to see Britney or Lindsay naked more quickly. And secondly, because Monopoly is crap.

I digress. Why is them flashing their 'holiest of holies' suddenly being met with world-wide revulsion? I've seen them both, obviously. How could you not have? They look pretty much like most other vaginas to me. Except Joanie Laurer's, that is. I still need showers thinking of that. I mean, that area of the female anatomy is admittedly not as attractive to most people as other areas of the female body, but by virtue of the fact that the snatches of Britney or Lindsay look practically no different to most others, if you're finding them repulsive then you're going to have a lot of trouble with the vast majority of ladies in that regard, that's all I can say.

We spend probably far too much of our lives waiting for naked glimpses or illicit shots of our favourite pop star, actress, model or general celebrity, and now, apparently, when such a moment arrives we're all meant to be vomiting instead of masturbating. I think I need a holiday from Earth.

Posted by Steve 11:31:00