20 Dec 2006

Live Web Cams

A girl performing on her webcam, probably watching Family Guy in another window.

Live cam sites are springing up all over the place at the moment as the phone sex revolution slowly dies out. Now instead of taking her word for it, you can see that she really is(n't) a 19 year old blonde with 36DD breasts.

I've seen a fair few of these things now, and they're really not my thing. Very rarely have the girls ever looked particularly interested, mainly because to them it's a job, so you can understand their apathy for much of the time. I mean, how happy and smiley at your office desk or supermarket checkout? Exactly.

Probably the best such site I've seen to date is Cam Contacts, and that was only because they had absolutely loads of performers to choose from. But wherever you go, you're likely to get pretty much the same pattern, so here's my guide to what to expect in a live cam.

1) You will ALWAYS be greeted with - "Hi bb!" I think it's the law. I think 'bb' stands for 'big boy' or 'baby'. It could stand for 'butt brain', but it's unlikely.

2) If you ask them how they are they will ALWAYS respond - "horny!" Well it's a good job you caught them when you did!

3) In this exact order they will ask you questions about your name, age and where you are from. They usually do this when you're in the paid bit and you're wondering when they will take their clothes off. I hate that.

4) Some will ask you what they can do for you. I don't like this question. It sounds like you're ringing up to ask a question about your gas bill. Well, gee, 'hotcamgurl69', I'm in a sex chat room with my willy in my hand and my pants round my ankles. What do YOU think you can do for me?

5) I wouldn't expect what happened to me one time to happen too often, unfortunately, and that is being immediately asked if I had cum today, replying 'no', and then being told to fuck her in her ass. I wish I could remember that girl's name!

6) When you have 'finished' you might be wondering how to end the conversation without seeming rude. I think that your best bet is to go for something dramatic like, "ARGH SHIT MY MUM'S BACK!" or "OH MY GOD MACGYVER'S ON! I'VE NEVER SEEN THIS EPISODE!"

Now you are ready to go into a live cam. Butt brain. I think.

Posted by Steve 11:41:00