07 Jan 2017
Get A Robot Blowjob With Your Morning Coffee
”I Hope Halle Von Doesn't Lose Her Blowjob Gig” - Photo Courtesy of This Girl Sucks
More and more jobs are being automated nowadays. Robots are building cars, electronics and just about everything else. Now, they are taking jobs away from innocent sex workers thanks to an oral sex cafe in London. Yes, that's right, we've gone from This Girl Sucks to that robot sucks!
Okay, I've got to be straight-up with you. One of my biggest dreams is walking into a coffee shop and not only getting a double macchiato with extra foam but also being able to get a blowjob at the same time. And now I can thank the Fellatio Cafe for coming up with such a great idea.
However, when I first heard about this place I had quite a few questions. Like how did this come about; why are they using robots instead of real women and how much does it cost? You know, the usual questions you'd ask. So I decided to find out a little more about it—which I did, right after my weekly stroke session on This Girl Sucks. Now I was ready to find out about cock sucking robots.
The owner of this place wanted to offer guys something more than just a shot of caffeine. Which is why he decided to offer blowjobs. After all, what could be better than getting to unload your cream while you are having a coffee with cream? It sounds good to me. However, he faced one problem with opening an establishment of this type in London. London has sex work laws that prohibited this type of practice. Which is why this enterprising entrepreneur decided to offer blowjobs done by robots.
What this bar is going to do is create two box-like areas where guys can receive their morning blow job, however, most of the blowjobs are going to happen right at the bar. Which immediately forces me out of the loop. I'm sorry, I just can't get blown while I drink coffee with a bunch of other guys. I just can't do it.
All of this brings me to my final question: How much is all of this going to cost. Well, according to interviews done by the owner of the Fellatio Cafe, it would appear that a caffè americano (I don't know what size) and a 15-minute blow job session is going to cost about £60.00, or about $74 in American dollars at the time of this article. Which is okay, I guess. However, I think for those prices I'd rather be blown by a real girl. Like one of the chicks on This Girl Sucks. I don't have anything against robots, I think I'd just prefer a softer, more human touch.
What do you think about it? I know a lot of guys who would probably be turned on by the idea. Although I'm sure there will be just as many guys turned off by the idea. It all depends on how you look at it. Does this mean the end of our sex workers: our pornstars and hookers. I hope not but it is a brave new world.
Posted by David